What is counselling?
Counselling is a relationship between two people who have come together for the purpose of healing, growth, change or personal development. However, unlike a friendship where both people give each other conditional attention, the relationship in counselling is based on you, your feelings and thoughts. These thoughts and feelings are respected, understood and received without judgement. It is both a professional and a personal relationship.
Why do people go to counselling?
Lots of reasons: to work through loss and grief; to overcome addiction or obsessive behaviour; to work through past or current trauma, to free themselves from negative behavioural patterns, to overcome feelings of depression or anxiety, or to cope with general stress or feelings of low self esteem. Sometimes people come to therapy just to know more about themselves.
Something may have happened that causes you to stop and evaluate your life, how you feel, and whether your expectations are being met. What is holding you back from achieving your aims and goals ?
Or maybe you feel sad or anxious all the time. You're tense and unsettled with life and others. Maybe your head is like a 'wild horse' and wont settle. Maybe you don't know why you feel this way !
Sometimes the thought of talking about our thoughts and feelings frightens us, so we push them away. We close the box and don't look at them, even though these unresolved life issues can affect our well being, functioning, mental health and concentration; even to the point of feeling life is not worth living. Counselling may help you to create positive and meaningful change and help you to better understand and resolve things, leading to better relationships with yourself and others. You may already have tried other ways to cope, sometimes these are unhealthy and can cause additional stress in the long term.
Perhaps you are fed up with being the way you are and just want to feel better. Counselling can help you gain a new perspective on those life events and issues that are causing you pain. It may help you to explore those uncomfortable thoughts and emotions in a supportive environment with a trained therapist.
There is no mystery to counselling. I don't have a magic wand to instantly make things better, nor would I want to, as without experiencing the pain of change, it holds no value. I only have a magic question..If you woke tomorrow and your biggest problem was solved, How would you feel ? How would others know it had gone ? What difference would that make to your life ?
Should you decide counselling is not for you at the moment, please remember two things :
1. We have no control over what life throws at us. The only thing we can control is how we deal with it.
2. 'This too shall pass', but with counselling, it could be a whole lot quicker !